There is one thing, Guy, that I've noticed through my own experience and that you've helped me to be more aware of: What kind of signals do we send to other people with our appearance.
I know this is an old topic, like if I want a job I have to dress properly and my hair should look nice, be polite and prepared..
So that is not what I mean.
What I do mean is, if I have a goal, say I want people to trust me, I want them to believe in me, I want them to have faith in me, then I need to send out signals that make me trustworthy.
Maybe I go to a stylist... or I read some magazines with all the good advice or talk to a mentor... And I get great help! I learn how to do it, I learn how to act and I learn how to speak to send out signals of trust. Maybe I even go public, with pictures, very professional.
What if I have lots of clutter in my mind? Will that effect my appearance? Will I send out signals of being trustworthy if my mind is full of thoughts for no use? Even if I've done all the right things? There must be a mix of signals here... How will I really appear?
You are an artist, I've seen how you do a drawing with just charcoal and you've already told a story, long before you add color and surroundings. So we must have some intuitive skills in order to read pictures and understand what it's all about. And I think that this intuitive language also works when we watch each other's appearance.
What is your thoughts about this?
Great topic, Kari, and of such great importance too! Let's have a look at the example you've used — going for a job interview... Sure, you can pay attention to your hair, makeup and attire to appear business-like and professional (according to the role you seek to fill) and you can rehearse all the 'right things' to say. You might even visit an image consultant if you're really going for a big high-powered position.
And yet, so many vitally important details are overlooked... This approach seems like you're rehearsing for a role in a movie, where 'practice makes perfect' and you want to deliver a stunning performance in order to get the job... So you get the job — great! What then? Do you revert to the 'real' you thereafter?
You see, our Way of Being constitutes so much more than the external, superficial level of appearance and doing and saying what we believe someone else wants to see in us... Our Way of Being is not simply an intermittent reflection of ourselves, or a 'skin' we slip into when the need arises — it's a Projection of our true self!
So, Kari, you're absolutely correct in saying that you are sending out mixed signals, if your fine physical appearance and studied words are in conflict with your Way of Being. I'll remind you here, that our Way of Being is a combination of our Body (physicality), our Moods (emotions) and our Language, all working together in harmony. It's like a dance, really — if your form doesn't flow with the rhythm, then you appear awkward and uncoreographed, don't you?
The same applies to the interview — if your physical appearance is great, yet the language of your thinking is causing your Mood to be negative, then the interviewer will no doubt pick up these mixed signals. Unless you're really good at covering up and masking your true self — as so many of us are!
Well then the question begs asking: Is this really the job you Want, or is it just one you Need?
Yes, I've discovered that art is all about capturing the Way of Being of the subject matter, and I derive great joy out of doing so! The story begins as early as the composition of the drawing itself — how objects or people are placed to draw the eye of the observer and engage with them. It becomes even more interesting when illustrating people, because the artist is then tasked with capturing the body language and expression of the subject or subjects, which then tells a multitude of other stories...
I'll use the example of a piece I completed recently, entitled "Can we swim yet?" There are six little girls and their adult 'minder' all in a row in front of the ocean... Firstly, the composition is such that the man holding the bucket draws one's eye initially (with the use of colour of course)... Thereafter, the observer realises that each person's body language tells a story (and this story alters according to whoever is interpreting) — with the little girl in the centre constituting the reason for the title of the piece...
Now having taken the reference photographs myself, I was there at the scene, so I know that they were waiting for the tide to recede and the minder was waiting to let the children play in the rock pools... Yet there are so very many possible interpretations!
So there's Body, Mood and Language (Way of Being) that brings a work of art to life.
Just like a work of art, we project an image that is open to interpretation. Unlike a picture though, we are not static — a captured moment in time. We're constantly projecting our Way of Being, and however we do so influences both our circumstances, as well as other people.
This makes me think about one of my mottos: Don't like the script of your life? Change it! Play another role!
We know this, it's the mantra of our time: The Law of Attraction! Think the right way, live like you already have what you want and, like magic... you have it!
And still, it seems like whatever we do, it slips away... So, let's try to add some gratitude! So important... We forgot that...! That's why it didn't work! We add some gratitude, think positive thoughts, imagine that we already have all we want... Hmmm... Maybe a little positive change, but then again, back to basics. At least almost back to basics.
Isn't this the same thing? We adopt a role we want to play, do the right thing, think the right thoughts, talk the right way, at least in our conscious mind!
And we send out mixed signals... Because what is the immediate next thought? So how can "If you don't like the script of your life, change it!" be a motto in life??? Is it just a stupid, positive thinking — new age — gimmick?
The answer is in the immediate next thought. That thought shows the underlying picture, that confuses the role we try to play. These are the thoughts that need attention. Here is your opportunity to change your script!
Let's continue with the job example: If I have done all the right things to send out the right signals, what if my immediate next thought is that "I'm always unlucky, it will never work. It never did..." "It would be so typically me to blow this interview..." "Do I really deserve it..." Then those are the signals sent out.
And the answer comes!
"Of course I didn't get the job..." Or "I got the job, but I'm not satisfied..." " I Knew it! I'm always unlucky...!"
All the signals we send out to our surroundings, affect everybody we meet. And they take it with them and affect further.
I often think about my words... Where do they end? Or my attitude...? I was in New York and met my cousin's best friend on Broadway. I was in Bangkok and met my boyfriend's best friend in the middle of the street... What did they tell people they met afterwards, about these meetings? What picture did they project about me? And what if I meet someone, on another trip out in the world, who knew those people, and who already has a picture of who I am, when we meet for the very first time? Will this be the right picture of me, or will it be another person's analysis of my unconscious signals?
Oh so many thoughts... And still, the way we act, the signals we send out, body language, spoken language, moods, the real language. The truth! Like your picture of these children, wanting to swim. You can clearly see how they have all their attention on the sea, it touched my own experience — I remember how it was, when everything in me wanted to just jump in and play, but this grown up person said no. Not yet... I can almost feel my eagerness. And I can also feel how it is to be the grown up, with the responsibility to bring these children safely home at the end of the day. I know this is my experience talking, but isn't this exactly what we do? Using our own experience to understand those signals other people send out...?
Ah yes, Kari, it's all smoke-and-mirrors unless we really train ourselves to become proficient observers, isn't it? Life can be so very complicated and altogether frustrating — and yet it's also the very essence of simplicity, if we could only let go of all the clutter of conflicting thoughts in our mind!
We unconsciously set ourselves up for failure, and when we do fail, our conscious mind says: "I told you so..." We think we're doing all the right things, all of the time, completely unaware that there's an undercurrent to our language, much like an underground railway line — winding its predetermined path (a path WE determine ourselves) away from what we want... Once we find what it is that constantly hamstrings us though, we're able to alter the path of those tracks to suit what We Want!
You're absolutely correct, Kari — how we project our Way of Being is like ripples; each new connection made sends out more ripples... Endlessly! And each time a new connection is made, so the interpretation changes! Imagine now that your initial projection is negative. It can only manifest more negativity... How are we ever going to attract Abundance this way? Forget it!
Conversely though, if our Way of Being exudes positive energy, this energy will in turn manifest — thus causing the wheels of the Universe to mesh together, with the inevitable effect of attracting Abundance!
It's true also, that Gratitude plays a key role in the process! Except we think giving sincere Gratitude is all that's needed... Well, to employ another analogy, Gratitude is like an automobile's starter motor: it's needed to start the car, but if the spark-plugs are dirty, the car won't start easily, and the engine won't run smoothly... In other words, Gratitude needs backup... A lot of backup! The automobile (your Way of Being) requires maintenance!
Whilst on the subject of maintenance, this shift in consciousness we so badly need is virtually impossible to attain without assistance. We require tools like Observation, Belief, Understanding, Commitment and Perseverance in order to really uncover our potential for success — and in particular, when it comes down to this question of Appearance or Image! We need maintenance! Inasmuch as you might take your automobile to an auto-service centre, a transformational workshop, like the four-day PowaForce program, is what it will take to ensure your Way of Being keeps running at peak performance...
Our next topic of discussion — something we touched on in an earlier conversation, but which merits further scrutiny — is that of Energy, and how our bodies respond to it. So be sure to stay 'tuned in"!