During our previous conversation, Kari, I made numerous references to Language and the very central role it plays with regards to Communication. Yet language is so much more than that, isn’t it? In fact it’s right there at centre-stage when it comes to manifesting our fullest potential—and indeed defining our Way of Being!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: We create through language!
Everything that exists for us exists through language. Let me ask you to do something for me, dear reader: As you sit there reading this conversation, glance around you… What do you see? In order to recognise something and focus on it, its name has to pop up in your mind—as language.
If you wanted to tell me what you see, or describe it to me, if you didn’t use language, it would not exist to me at all. So you see it, you interpret it in language, and then tell me what it is… Wonderfully simple, isn’t it?
Have you ever played the board game called Pictionary, Kari? You pick a card, then, without any spoken reference, you must describe whatever it is on the card to your partner by drawing it within two or three minutes, and they must guess the answer. It’s a wonderful way to explore other aspects of our language, as well as how we observe it in others. In fact it’s how some of the Eastern written languages originated. Chinese and Japanese alphabetical characters, for example, are graphically descriptive. The same applies to the Hieroglyphics of the Ancient Egyptians. I remember a fun exercise we did at primary school, when learning about Ancient Egypt, where we had to make up a sentence using only little drawings.
So, as I’ve mentioned, we create through language. Our thoughts are in language, and before a thought forms in our mind, all that exists are feelings and emotions. How often do you have a particular feeling that you cannot quite determine? It’s just there, and will remain so until it’s recognised in language…
Once this is so, then we have something to work with and we progress towards definitive action. Language is a very powerful tool to use when shaping our path in life. As we observe our own language, and that of others, with increasing proficiency, we add more and more distinctions to our Way of Being, opening up new possibilities we were never previously conscious of. We are certainly able, by observing, and, if necessary, changing our language to create the place we wish to be and who we choose to be. When we are adept at observing our own language and moulding it to fit with our vision of our true selves, we can then turn to our observation of others in their respective language.
We don’t require a degree in Speech and Drama in order to pick up on people’s body language. You only have to look at someone to ascertain their mood. If they’re dejected or sad, their back is bent forward and their shoulders hunch with the emotional burden. They might shuffle aimlessly and they appear to be visibly sagging.
Conversely, if someone is joyful and happy, their shoulders are pulled back and their chest is proudly expanded to embrace love and life. This all can be determined without having to see their facial expressions, which are even more telling!
The set of the jaw speaks of a particular determination or frustration; the lips take on a particular hardness when angry. The tops of the cheeks beneath the eyes display stress and tension, and we all know the repertoire of expressions the eyebrows possess! Even the skin flushes when embarrassed or excited. You know that compulsive shiver you have sometimes, when you get ‘goose-flesh’ over your arms and legs? This again is the body expressing itself through language…
Then the eyes—most expressive of all! The pupils expand and contract according to our emotions, and the irises also alter colour slightly according to our moods.
So, readers, how do you expect to hide behind your words, when all of this external language is telling your truth to the world? Some are better at hiding their stories than others (I mentioned the ‘poker face’ in our previous conversation about Communication), yet whenever the words coming from the mouth differ from the body language, the discord becomes apparent.
Of course language is not only applicable to us human beings, as different forms of language (particularly body language) exist throughout the Animal Kingdom. Take chimpanzees and other apes for example—how they utilise such a wide array of physical gestures and facial expressions, along with vocal utterances as a highly complex form of language. How about dolphins, clicking and chattering to their friends? Or whales that communicate very specific messages between one another over vast distances…
There’s a South African named Kevin Richardson (known as “The Lion Whisperer”) who engages with lions in the wild, without fear for his life. In fact, he is welcomed by the pride. This is all because he has studied the language of the pride, and of individual lions, and is able to emulate their language.
He is also well accepted by a pack of hyena. Naturally, he would be wise not to carry the scent of one to another between these two mortal enemies, but he has certainly been successful in adaptation to language through his keen observation.
Remember too, that this adaptation has to encompass details such as the fact that whereas a pride of lions has matriarchal (male) dominance, hyenas have a patriarch (female) leading the pack. Kevin has to remain subservient to this, because the moment he upsets that balance, his live is in extreme danger! Yet he understands this and all is well… Everyone ‘speaks’ the same language…
Language is all around us and there’s a great deal to be learned from that which is apparent, as well as that which is not—this I shall explain in the second part of the conversation though…
Kari, as a Kinesiologist, you work with people’s troubles as far as it affects their kinetic makeup—in your experience, what role does language play in their lives; and in yours, for that matter?
What a great follow up, Guy! Our language is really interesting and as you say, we do create with our words, as they will result in action.
I want to give both you and our readers something I guess few ever think of: Every time you decide to do something, your metabolism increases! Oh, what a wonderful way to lose weight, you might say! Well, I’m sorry to tell you that sadly it isn’t so…
It’s what happens every time you don’t do what you have decided—and let’s face it, very often we don’t actually mean it, it’s more like something we wish to do, on Monday I’m going to start exercise, get my six-pack back, or tomorrow I will start looking for a new job, fix my life or have a serious conversation with my spouse…
It doesn’t matter what you say or whether you mean it or not, your metabolism increases, your body starts to act based on what you decide. Then, when you don’t answer with a reaction, by doing what you decide, there is a lot of useless energy and hormonal activity. If this happens often, if it turns into an unconscious habit, your thyroid starts to become problematic, and your adrenals work overtime! There is a lack of balance between your words and actions and your body struggles!
So what happens? You lose energy, or maybe you’re not able to relax at all, as your energy level is far too high. You gain weight, or perhaps you start losing weight and get cold and nervous. You go to the doctor for tests, nothing is to be found; everything seems fine. For a while… Until you actually develop a thyroid problem! Or maybe a blood sugar problem, or you gain weight to your upper body. All caused by your unconscious way of speaking! Physical evidence that shows there is no harmony between your words and your actions.
Then we have all those unspoken rules in conversation. We are not supposed to be honest, are we? I remember when we had exams at school, how important it was to tell everybody how afraid we were, we would never be able to come through this, we would fail. And those who everybody knew definitely would make it, were most eager to tell how poor their results would be…
And the times we went on a holiday trip with friends and no one would decide where to eat, just to be polite. And there we were, all starving, no-one wanted to be impolite and make the decision, if the decision would mean that one or more of the others would not want to go there, but still did because they were polite…
I remember I thought it was very funny, but in fact it was not. This was food, but how many times are we doing exactly that? Just to be polite, we hold back, we don’t dare to shine our light—what would the others say?
That makes us unhappy, doesn’t it? We wish to be seen and heard, we wish to be important and interesting—in fact we may even become a bit bitter about it, as we seem to be rejected. But when it comes to it, what are your words? How is your language? If you hide your light, how can others see you?
I had a friend once that came one day for coffee. He was very confused and asked me if I could explain something for him. The previous weekend he and his girlfriend decided they would go on a trip that included a 3-hour boat trip. They bought the tickets, but two days before they were about to leave, his girlfriend said she had changed her mind. She had seen the weather forecast and it was supposed to be very windy. She was not so fond of being on the sea in that weather, so she told him to take a friend instead.
He asked one of his buddies and off they went. When he got home again, his girlfriend was very angry, because he had gone on this trip. He reminded her of the fact that she was the one telling him to go with his friend, and she told him very clearly that he wasn’t supposed to do it! He was supposed to say that he didn’t want to go without her and then stay home enjoy the weekend together with her!
He was very confused and it actually took many days for them to become friends again! She told me later that she was so disappointed in him; he always put his buddies before her…
How many times, dear reader, have you been disappointed with a person for reacting differently than you anticipated? How many times have you been waiting for another person to tell you what you want to hear, but never got to hear it? Have you ever told this person what you need? How you feel?
Yes, Guy, I have many clients with issues like this, and very often they start our conversation the first day, by saying they probably have to get a divorce. Their spouse is completely unconscious of their feelings and burdens; they can’t go on like this anymore.
Most of the time they also tell me they haven’t actually told their spouse this; he or she has to understand! There should be no need to say it, as it’s so obvious!
Oh, really? Is it? How many times have you put on a brave, but weak smile, saying you can do something or fix something, while you wait for the next person to free you of the obligation? Can’t you see you play a role? What if the other people don’t play in the same act as you, because they have other experiences than you do? Then they don’t know the right lines…
It is so common, Guy! We are unconscious of the way we use our language, often we’re not even aware of what we are saying; it is simply old, outgrown conversation patterns taking place.
Now I really look forward to hear what you have to say about what we can learn from spoken and unspoken language, Guy!
Ah, Kari, once again you bring new distinctions to the table! Who would have thought that our language could affect our metabolism? And at the same time, what you tell us makes completely logical sense!
The very instant we give thought to an action, it begins manifesting from universal energy so our body, being part of that energy, starts to react accordingly. “We get what we want—and what we don’t want”. The Universe doesn’t distinguish between the two on our behalf. It just gives!
In fact, this has everything to do with the “unspoken language” I referred to, Kari, because although we reckon we’re saying and doing all the right things to attract what we want, we never seem to get it.
We say our prayers like good little children, morning and night; we behave well; we put out there what we want… And yet, we wonder why nothing comes… Even more concerning, is that we seem to be getting exactly what we really don’t want!
Therein lies the problem—the “unspoken language”! I’ve made mention before that we have, on average, around sixty thousand thoughts a day. Well it’s impossible to keep tabs on every one of those thoughts, isn’t it? Yes and no, but I’ll explain that shortly…
What happens though, is that for all the time we spend concentrating on what we want (which really is perhaps ten minutes in a day), the majority of our thinking is polluted by what we don’t want. “Oh no, please don’t let me be late”, or “I really hate it when those dogs bark continuously”, or “I do hope my boss doesn’t see me on Facebook when I should be working”…
There’s an endless stream of all the stuff we don’t want, and although they might be just passing thoughts, we’re still pumping them out into the Universe, and they just continue to manifest! Don’t get me wrong—we are indeed still getting what we want, but it’s so diluted amongst the deluge of what we don’t want, that it’s hardly recognisable.
So we have all of these thoughts going through our mind that we aren’t even aware of, and that’s exactly where the danger lies! The same applies to worry. Whatever we apply our focus to when we’re worried or concerned, just seems to get worse… The Universe is simply mirroring our thoughts and we’re getting back more and more of the same, again and again!
In fact, I maintain that we sometimes worry things into existence. It starts of a thought of what “might happen”… Suddenly, our minds are racing way ahead of a situation or circumstance that DOES NOT YET EXIST! So much so, that we actually attract negative drama into being. We are creating it through our language out of a tiny seed of a thought!
I admit to being a notorious worrier at times! Luckily though, I have the capacity to tell myself, “Guy! Stop being an idiot!” Failing that, I have you, Kari, to set me straight!
How then, do we reverse this process? How do we start to receive more of what we WANT, and less of what we DON’T WANT?
The key is observation. We have to become more proficient at keeping track of our thinking. And it’s not so much about being conscious of every one of those sixty thousand thoughts (of course that’s impossible!), but rather becoming more aware of the patterns of your thinking.
Remember I mentioned that feelings and emotions give rise to thoughts? Well, you need to start observing those moods as they begin to form. This is the pivotal point where your moods could swing either way—and you need to be there to guide them, always in a positive, uplifting direction.
When a feeling arises, send it through your ‘passport control’ and ask whether the feeling that’s emerging is positive or negative. If it’s positive, then great, it’s safe to manifest of its own accord. Stamp it ‘approved’ and let it go…
If, on the other hand, the emotion is unsettling and negative, then arrest it immediately! Ask yourself where the thought might lead to, if it were allowed to grow. Then ask yourself how you could alter the energy of the emerging thought into one that is positive and generative.
Also, get a feel of your body, your posture, your face… Are you smiling of frowning? Are you biting your lip? Do you feel relaxed or tense? Are your shoulders pulling up when you breathe, or are you calmly breathing with your solar plexus? Are your arms or legs crossed (signifying indifference), or are they apart (indicative of openness and acceptance). And so the list goes on…
Always remember, everything that comes our way is sent to teach us something about ourselves. If you are experiencing repetitive patterns of negative thinking, start to work on the source of that thinking and, by changing your language, you can dramatically change the outcome—for yourself and those in your sphere of influence. Determine what kinds of words you are using in your language, and search for new words that might revitalise a negative thought in a positive light.
In this manner, the words you speak will resonate with your Way of Being. The conflict between what is said and what is unsaid will synchronise, making for a much more authentic appeal to your persona.
It is entirely possible to assist others in this way too. As you become more proficient at observing your own language, so you will begin to observe how it shows up in your loved ones, friends, colleagues—eventually in complete strangers. Then you’ll intuitively know where to assist them. Besides which, you will be radiating positive energy, which becomes infectious.
I’ve said this numerous times before, and I’ll say it again for your benefit, valued readers: Find the time to meditate! This is possibly the best means of observing your thought patterns, assessing them and allowing them to flow away. I meditate for at least ten minutes every morning (with a cat on my lap, purring away) and it makes all the difference to my language and to my day. I focus always on what I want to attract into my life. Never specifics, but rather concepts like Love and Wealth and Success. There’s just no place left for negativity, and it shows in my Way of Being.
Well, Kari, how about taking this intriguing idea of how our metabolism changes according to our language, and share with us a few solutions towards the manifestation of Abundance in our lives?
You know, Guy, when it comes to it, we are all as much masters of our health as of our life! It’s all about responsibility and what words we use when we think about each other, what kind of words we use to describe ourselves, our life and our destiny!
You mentioned 60 000 thoughts every day, then I’ll mention that every one of those thoughts have already existed from 1,5 to 6 seconds before you’re aware of them. So, when you finally become aware of them, the body has already reacted.
So how then can we change our life by changing our thoughts? Our thought patterns are partly quantum. And the quality of quantum is that it is either a particle or a wave regarding what you expect. A particle is physical, a wave is invisible, and you can only see the result. As with frequencies in sound, you can hear it but you can’t see it.
The problem for our quantum physicists is that the quantum particle/wave is conscious and it is waiting for what the scientists expect to see, and creates accordingly. Either particles that create matter or waves which create frequencies… Completely neutral, the observer is the creator.
Your belief systems will give you the thought patterns that you create your life with, as you are the observer in your own life. And again, it’s still completely neutral. You will get feelings and emotions, as they are personal to you, but the effect is neutral. They will be reflected in your body language and in your energy field, which then will attract whatever you believe in.
How do you think about yourself? What is it that you feel you deserve? And why? What is it that determines what you deserve? Can you believe the fact that you create your life with your thought patterns?
Can you also believe that there are no time fragments regarding your thoughts? They will never change unless you decide to change them. And the only way to change them is to change your language. The uplifting reality here is still that all this is neutral. It is connected to your feelings, yes, and those will give you your answer to what’s going on. But it will never change anything, unless you decide to.
I had some amazing experiences when I was a child. As I’ve told you before, Guy, I spent a lot of time with horses and of course I always ended up with problematic horses. I learned very early that these horses reacted to my energy, as long as I knew what I wanted and approached them in a calm, but self-assured manner, they never gave me any problems at all. I simply made a picture in my mind and did it. So many were afraid of these horses and were very curious as to how it was possible to handle them in this way. I always said that I didn’t know, maybe I was too stupid to be afraid… But when looking back I see that it was natural for me to do so, I never even thought about it.
What I remembered was how naturally we communicated through energy and how the animals reacted immediately to what I sent out. Many years later, as a grown up, I discovered that I used the same technique in my work as a therapist. It is all about intentions!
I don’t think I’m anything special regarding this; it’s simply an example of how we influence each other with our body language, created by our thoughts. I was lucky, I experienced this when I was a child, without the resentment we develop as grown ups. And as my parents were busy elsewhere, they didn’t stop me in believing this, and by that, experiencing it.
So, I still believe it and I’m very much aware of what it does in my life, as I have to take full responsibility for what I create.
There are pitfalls though, such as other people’s anticipations! Or what society expects. I want to remind you of how we live in a time of changes in consciousness. We can all get whatever information we want, as support for our Way of Being. Then we question: how can we know what is the truth? Who has the right answers?
Well, as already mentioned—you! As an observer of your own life, with all the information that only you possess, you have the answers. Listen to your words; how you address other people—you do create your life with it! If you don’t like your life, try changing the words! It may take a while, but you’re going to stay here anyway, so why don’t give it a try?
Think of it as building a house. Would you build it with poor materials? With sand instead of concrete; rotten wood and rusty nails?
I don’t think so. So, how can your life be less important?
Experiences this week have shown me next week’s topic, Guy. There is an unbalance between the way we increase in consciousness, and the way society works. As time goes by, the unbalance gets greater, as the leaders of our society often continue working on these old, outgrown patterns that used to be the truth, but doesn’t serve people in the same way anymore.
I am not going to start a political discussion here, but rather point to the fact that we are at a crossroads in human evolution. If we want to continue being victims in our life, it will increase, as the world changes.
So what I want to talk about is the fact that it’s time to realise our responsibility as humans, both as respecting those who want to stay behind as victims, and to support each other when we want to take the reasonability to grow—by acknowledging our power as creators in our life!
(Interactive art by Nathaniel Stern)