CONVERSATION 36 — WHO AM I?
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CONVERSATION 36 — WHO AM I?




 
GUY
 
There are so many questions we have about life, aren’t there, Kari, yet possibly the most important of all is one we seldom give thought to: Who am I? Perhaps for many it’s just too vast and scary to contemplate. Even as I write this, I’m thinking, “where on earth do I actually begin with this conversation?”
 
Do I start with the day I was born and given my name, or should I probe nine months further back and look to the reason I was conceived? There’s a twelve-year gap between my older three siblings and I (with five years between their births), so I could quite easily end up thinking that I was a mistake! Well I know I wasn’t, thank goodness, because if I dwelt on that thought for too long, I’d not end up in a happy place at all!
 
There must be more to it than that though…
 
Indeed it might be an idea to start probing back to where I originated—not as Guy McGowan; 47 years old; human being born in 1967, but to where my soul began… Right, good place to start, but it’s going to be deep!
 
Again, I sit and I contemplate—no wonder we don’t want to seek out answers! It really is quite daunting to get into such a mammoth question, even if we merely consider that our memory only goes as far back as our early childhood. Yet does it?
 
As Kari has mentioned before, we only utilise 5% of our brain capacity, so what’s the remaining 95% used for? Now I’m assuming that our predominant memory (that originating at birth) falls within that 5%, so let’s put it aside for now. It would be quite rational to consider that there must be more knowledge (a vast amount more, in fact) stored away in that 95% then…
 
What if I told you that not only do you hold the knowledge gleaned from your own life experiences, but also that of your ancestors? Yes, with the linking ancestral DNA, that wouldn’t be too hard to believe. What then, if I said that each and every one of us holds the knowledge of all humankind, since time immemorial? Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?
 
Allow me to put this into a little more perspective: Your memory contains 250 times more information than the Library of Congress in Washington D.C. (the world’s largest library, containing some 158 million items of publication, from books, newspapers and manuscripts, to sheet-music and a plethora of other printed works). For example, if your brain worked like a digital video recorder in a television, the 2.5 petabytes (2500 terabytes) of your memory’s capacity for binary data would be enough to hold three million hours of television shows. You would have to leave the television recording continuously for more than 300 years to use up all that storage! Another nugget is that an MP3 of the same capacity would take 5000 years to play! Now am I starting to make a little more sense?
 
Perhaps, as I did when I first researched this little gem of information, you might begin to feel that “who am I?” is a question that you really might enjoy getting into!
 
If we possess this virtually limitless knowledge, yet only tap into the minutest fraction of it, then one cannot help but question where it comes from and why we require it. It follows then, that it’s not as much for our fleeting physical lifetime that this vast reservoir exists, but rather the life of our soul, to be tapped into as and when required over a multitude of lifetimes…
 
My interpretation then, is that who I am constitutes not so much my physical body, but my being; my soul… So who is my soul? Now I really have to think beyond what I know and what I’ve been conditioned to believe my entire life about who I am!
 
I’d like to touch on these ‘conditioned beliefs’ for a moment, as it’s important to understand what we have to relinquish so as we might delve more effectively into the question at hand. We place a great deal of unconscious emphasis on how others perceive us, and this can be very misleading.
 
As I’ve shared in a previous conversation, my father’s claim that “we McGowans just don’t possess that ‘killer instinct’ which begets success in enterprise” was a limiting pattern of behaviour throughout my life—one that I’ve only relinquished very recently in fact. I also recall an occasion about twenty years ago, when an arbitrary girl at a party ‘read’ my palm and said that I wasn’t destined for wealth. She was a complete novice (not to mention a little tipsy), yet that thought has niggled me ever since. I knew then, as I do now, that the comment was totally unfounded, but it nevertheless made its nest in my unconscious mind to fester and corrupt my belief of who I am and of my potential!
 
It’s natural for us to give credence to what others think and say about us (and people are only too willing to give their opinion, good or bad) and adopt it as ‘the truth’. Our truth!
 
We tend towards taking to heart the negative, hurtful things people say about us (even the stuff we hear about ourselves second-or third-hand!) far easier than the positive observations of others. We say things like, “oh that’s very kind of you to say, but if you heard what so-and-so had to say, you might think differently.” Why can’t we just agree, saying, “Thank you, yes I actually am amazing”? Modesty gives a good appearance, yet doesn’t help us at all…
 
It’s time to formulate an opinion, without vanity, of ourselves and of our highest possible expression—this is abundance and enlightenment, and it’s what nourishes our soul!
 
Please bear in mind, dear readers, that Kari and I seek to delve into what we don’t know that we don’t know. Our thinking is largely based upon intuition; the messages we receive from the Universe, and cannot be substantiated with fact. We would like for you to do the same—to expand your thinking beyond what you know and into the abundance that doesn’t exist for you as yet! We experience our physical world in three dimensions, yet there are countless further dimensions (including our intuition) that we tap into from time to time. Everything in the Universe is open to interpretation. And that’s just the Known Universe—so what’s beyond that?
 
Back then to where we were earlier… I contemplate all the things in my life that resonate with me, and have led me to who I am today, to give me an inkling as to the path my soul has travelled. My first thought goes to my interest in the Samurai Arts, spanning well over three decades of my life. Why? Nobody said, “Here’s a book about the Samurai you might find interesting”… I just got interested—and then more interested, until the point where I became a practitioner… By my cognition this points to some experience of this in a previous lifetime. Indeed, the philosophical aspect of Martial Arts drew me inexorably towards Ontology, with which I developed an immediate connection when introduced to it by my mentor, Rod Finnie!
 
And another thing: Ever since I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with cars, trucks, trains, earthmoving equipment and the like… During my two years in the army national service, I became a driver so that I could master these huge vehicles, and was in my element! Again, these are signs of a previous lifetime’s occupation or career in this domain.
 
Then there’s this: Until about two years ago, I would never have considered myself to be a writer, as I just didn’t think I had much of value to share—and yet here I am, continuously surprising myself with my own ever-increasing potential! Much of what Kari and I write about comes from personal experiences, yet the majority is intuitive knowledge, resourced from that huge information database.
 
There are many, many things that we’re passionate about in our current lives—some calling us forth with more powerful energy than others… Many of these we aren’t even aware of, until one day we wake up to a new calling which blossoms as if from nowhere… Think about it: if it’s something you’ve never thought of or experienced before, yet suddenly it appears in your life, then where does it come from? I say that you have experienced it before and that you’re very familiar with it—a flame was ignited in your unconscious reservoir of knowledge and a new you emerged!
 
I’ll discuss this further in the second part of our conversation, but first I’m most eager to hear Kari’s take on the question, “Who am I?” and I’m sure she’s bursting at the seams with quantum theory and DNA backtracking on the subject! Over to you then, Kari!
 
KARI
 
Thank you, Guy! And my, what a topic you’ve chosen this time! This only gets better and better!
 
Who am I?
 
One thing is for sure: I am so much more than a body, with a gender, name and a profession, a physical appearance with different skills!
 
I had a very special experience many years ago whilst I was out walking my dog. Suddenly I felt my physical body got smaller and smaller while something else, a very light and vast field (which also was me), grew bigger and bigger and I ended up very tiny—yet huge at the same time! Sound started to fade away, as if I was in a vacuum, and I could hardly hear the sounds of the cars driving by. I looked down at my body; it still looked the same, my feet moved like they should. My head was clear; still I expected to faint or have a stroke, as this was absolutely unnatural! But all I could feel was this very tiny little ‘me’ within a huge ‘me’, being in a bubble where it felt completely calm and balanced. People around me acted like nothing happened, so I realised it had to be my personal inner experience.
 
After a couple of minutes in that state, the big ‘me’ started to get smaller and the small ‘me’ slowly started to grow bigger, until I was back to normal and sounds returned.
 
I had no-one to tell this to, but I did realise that I had just experienced something very important! When looking back, with the knowledge that I have today, I know that what I experienced was ‘me’ as energy living in a physical body that is far too small!
 
My work allows me to meet people every day, with amazing potential they are not aware of. They have an incredible unconscious intelligence about themselves—they often speak of it, not knowing exactly what they speak of.
 
Like the woman telling me that she always let people use her, always placing other people first. She’s so tired of that, and it is so depressing.
When going deeper into the issue, we find she has a wonderful gift in her sensitivity to other people’s energy; she understands issues even if she’s never experienced them, but she doesn’t know how to deal with it. So she does the best thing she can and tries to solve their issues herself, a solution that just drains her…
 
So where does this knowledge come from? What is a thought, by the way? Science tells us that it starts in our cells, but there is no understanding as to how our cells do it! It is easy to measure what a thought does, but not how it is created. And the same scientists tell us that the body has reacted to the thought from the cell 1,5 to 6 seconds before the thought becomes conscious.
 
Why? What is the purpose of that?
 
This shows intelligence within the cellular structure, and this is where we find our DNA. Think about that for a moment; a thought is measured from the start on a cellular level; it acts by sending a message to the brain, which reacts by creating a body reaction. Perfect harmony and bio feedback! And one more thing, we have maybe 3 billion cells in our body, all working in synchronicity, even if every single one of those cells are able to start the thought process!
 
That amazing computer living in our head can only use whatever it has been programmed with. Then of course we can protest and say that it takes everything for granted, it doesn’t matter if it’s from television, a book, a movie, someone tell you a story or you experience it yourself… It is all electric signals and induction.
 
Why?
 
What is the purpose of a brain that takes everything for granted, even if it is fantasy, in order to create patterns of behaviour that suit us. What is the purpose of a consciousness that is mostly not conscious at all? And maybe the biggest question: why doesn’t it change behaviour patterns as we grow and reach new levels of understanding?
 
I can almost hear the protests now! “Of course we change according to new and increased understandings!”
 
Really? Are you sure?
 
Listen to how you communicate; is it a product of increased consciousness? How many of those things you communicate every day are your own truths? How much is from your parents and your upbringing, old belief systems, the 'right' way to converse in the society you live in?
 
Have you ever thought of how you would be if you weren’t influenced by other people at all? I know this is a rhetorical question, because we all influence each other, all the time. Even when we believe we’re completely alone, it’s all an illusion! On an energetic level it is impossible to be alone, as all that exists is of the same energy!
 
Back to science, we can measure that our body creates stress from stimulation, like thinking of old issues for example. Or see photos that remind us of them. The reactionary pattern is the same as it would be if it was happening in the moment—time doesn’t seem to make any difference. And because of that we continue with the same behavioural patterns as we used to, even when we’ve got new understandings, whenever we reach a stressful situation. And, stressful reminders cause our brain go into defence mode; the only thing that works is old habits and behaviours.
 
The only way to get out of this habitual state is to go within and start to working on what you don’t know that you don’t know, that which is in your cell memory, your DNA. Because just as you are programmed to survive, you are programmed to evolve!
 
What is the purpose of that?
 
We have shown we are completely able to increase as population, to survive as a species; we don’t need to be programmed to evolve on a cellular level for that!
 
I am so full of questions… Like, what happened when the modern human being, with 46 chromosomes, was created? Researcher, J.W. Ijdo concludes: “The human chromosome was made by the fusion of two ancestral apes, which raised the human chromosome, which is different.” (Apes received 48 chromosomes)
 
Can anything as perfect as a human being be created by accident? A mutation? Where is that missing link? Is it even from Earth?
 
That was a lot of questions, Guy! I never get into discussions anymore with people telling me that we are here by accident. That we come from nowhere, live our life, and then return back to nothing!
 
I never discuss with people trusting religion either, who tell me that God is the highest power, which we have to satisfy to get our reward when we die.
 
It is okay; it doesn’t matter. We all have our belief systems. And what we believe and trust is right—that is what we create!
 
And we are 7 billion individual believers and creators on Earth…
 
Now, I look forward to let you lead us deeper into our callings and unconscious reservoir of knowledge, Guy!
 
GUY
 
Well, Kari, we can always rely on you to bring your unique outlook to the discussion, and this is what we would wish for all of you, our readers (even if the questions are sparked only in your minds), to seek answers to questions that range far beyond what you already know.
 
As I was saying earlier in the conversation, we all receive messages from the universe—more to the point, our soul receives the messages—via our intuition, which we then begin to interpret according to our level of consciousness.
 
If we are satisfied to remain conscious at a superficial level, with the day-to-day circumstances of our lives, then the vast majority of these messages will pass us by unnoticed.
 
Should we choose to question more; to become more aware of what is happing to us, and in our surroundings, then these glimpses of intuition will begin to take on more relevance and we will most certainly be able to tap into our reservoir of potential with greater proficiency.
 
Acknowledging who we are (and perhaps more importantly, what we were) allows us to explore new opportunities from within us that we never knew existed. We live in a state of wonder, where we are no longer held back by what is impossible to us, but realise that our world is filled only with possibility! We need to release the old patterns of behaviour and embrace change in our lives.
 
Over two thousands years ago, Heraclitus first coined the phrase: “The only constant in life is change”. As it was then, so it is today. The world is constantly changing all around us, and at an ever-increasing rate. ‘Now’ is gone forever, the very instant that it ‘was’! The status quo of yesterday has passed and is no longer today’s status quo.
 
The catch here, dear readers, is that it’s all an illusion, because nothing changes! The ‘Word of God’ hasn’t changed from what was written two thousand years ago, except in interpretation. And that scares me! If we don’t question continuously, then how do we evolve our consciousness? Do we cling dogmatically and unquestioningly to scriptures that were written over two millennia ago? Do you ever ask how many times these scriptures have been transcribed and translated, interpreted and reinterpreted over this period?
 
There can be no absolute confirmation that even the scriptures, scrolls and tablets that were written, inscribed and engraved, were even the truth at the time of their origination, as they were done so by human beings, just like you and me…
 
Sure, some might say that what religion teaches are merely guidelines for how to best live our lives, and yet many nevertheless hold this as The Only Truth! I don’t deny the validity of religion for those who believe in it, in whatever shape or form—I only say that we should constantly question! Think of what lies beneath the words we hear and read; determine the language; determine your own Truth!
 
By my understanding, all scriptures are metaphors for life, created for a time in ancient history, where the message is perhaps as relevant today as it was so many centuries ago, yet which cannot constitute our individual truth today—or tomorrow… The ‘constant’ and the ‘change’…
 
Let us consider again, the manner in which we answer the question: “Who am I?” As I mentioned, we tend to look to those around us to build a ‘picture’ of who we are from the good, the bad and the ugly perceptions they all have of us. Not only do we gain a highly distorted image from those mirrored back at us, but the individual interpretations of how we are ‘seen’ can change from one day, and even one instant, to the next! Take a moment to ponder this query: Do you really think that the real YOU is this patchwork quilt of all these interpretations?
 
How about letting go of what is ‘out there’ for once, and looking within to find the answer? In fact, not THE answer, but ALL of the answers! Kari, you asked how all this knowledge just happened to exist in our cellular structure (and in our every cell) from the moment we were created. We know that matter is eternal and that we are formed from the same matter as everything else in the Universe.
 
All of this endless matter originates from a ‘source’, the Thinking Substance referred to by Wallace D. Wattles in the book, The Science of Generating Wealth. So, all the knowledge in the Universe (both past, present and future in eternity) resides within everything—and that ‘everything’ includes those same 3 billion cells that constitute our human form. This is the legacy with which we’re all gifted; always have and always will be—a legacy of unfathomable potential. All that is required to access this potential is to go within and ask: “Who am I?” and “Who do I choose to be?”
 
Now we come to the question of our calling. Have you ever contemplated the reason for your existence—this incredible, beautiful, infinitely complex, yet exquisitely simple human being that you are? Do you ever wonder if there’s perhaps more to life than being born, struggling our way through life, and then dying? What is the purpose of that? I too have many questions, Kari, yet one I constantly ask of myself and seek to confirm is: “What are you called forth to BE?”
 
Why I keep reminding myself of the question is to be sure that I remain true to who I am. Seven or so years ago, I established my calling as follows: “To make a creative difference in the lives and businesses of others”. As my journey progressed, I amended this to: “Making a difference in people’s lives”. I then simplified it yet further to: “Making a difference”… As recently as a couple of months ago, I suddenly realised that my calling was “Love”—which encapsulates what I believe to be my very reason for existing, and what I am called forth to be… I don’t know how this could evolve or be simplified yet further, yet I must still ask this question of myself every day!
 
This is my process of evolution and change, and most adequately answers my own question: “Who am I?”
 
So what are your answers?
 
A message I want to reiterate to all our readers at this point (and I cannot shout this loudly enough!) is that you should not believe a single word I say, or that dear Kari says, and I am not joking! Our writings, our musings, our interpretations and our beliefs are unique to the two us, individually—as they are to each and every one of you! We speak the truth as it appears to us, not YOUR truth! And my truth is not Kari’s truth, and vice versa; we just happen to resonate on a parallel level of consciousness and know that we have a message of relevance to share…
 
So do enlighten us all with your insight and wisdom, Kari, as to how we might set about answering this colossal question, as well as others like it!
 
KARI
 
You’re absolutely right, Guy, we do have a lot of questions, and the fact that we don’t have any answers other than our own, is so important! Yet, you and I may be asking more questions than many others do and these questions live their own life in our mind all the time. We’re always open to answers and the amazing thing is that the more open we are, the more answers we get. And what’s even more amazing is that the answers broaden and change as we get deeper and deeper into our own inner consciousness, don’t they?
 
You and I have often talked about the fact that consciousness is quantum, Guy. An attribute of quantum energy is that it occurs in many places at once and there is no seeming order as to where it occurs. It simply manifests what you believe in, according to your level of consciousness.
 
The thing is, that we experience life through our emotions, and they are also quantum, aren’t they. If you feel good, life is good; if you have a crappy day, nothing seems to go your way.
 
Can you see how you create your life by how you feel? What about the ultimate feeling—Love! The last couple of months you have realised that your calling is simply Love, Guy. That is so beautiful! As I see it, love is the only truth there is.
 
Think about it, we need reasons for negative feelings like anger or bitterness created by our own experiences or what we’ve learned from others.
 
And Love? Love is. Period!
 
And with love follows compassion! Also a human attribute, I daresay! Which brings our world forward into an increased consciousness!
 
So what happens when two persons meet, in a world where there are so many potential lovers, where feelings arise that they have no control over. Circumstances don’t matter at all! You can turn around in the street, meet the eyes of a stranger, and there it is!
 
Isn’t that a quantum event? Made possible by synchronicity? And the best part, when we are in love, in that quantum state, everything we experience is beautiful! Because all we are conscious of, is this wonderful feeling of love! 
 
Can you see what that really means? The strength of your mind creates everything you have in your life! Do you create it through love or through fear?
 
And now I can hear the protests again, “What about all the terrible things happening in the world, how can I be responsible for that?”
 
You are not responsible for other people’s actions! Period!
 
But the truth is that no matter what happens in your life, it can only BE what you’re conscious of.
 
Whatever happens in your external world doesn’t matter; it is your inner world I talk about! As we spoke of in our previous conversation—are you a victim of what happens in your life, or do you take responsibility?
 
Are you able to realise who you are?
 
This little word “who” make it a bit difficult to answer this question. Maybe it would be easier if we changed it to “What”.
 
What are you? What am I?
 
As humans we have a completely free will, there is nothing at all that gives us any direction of what to do or how to act, as it is all up to us! We tend to like that state for as long as things are going well, but when we look around in the world or in our own life, and see the miserable things happening, we blame God. We say it is a proof that God does not exist, because if he did, he would never let all this happen!
 
Now, what is God? Whatever name you call your God, it doesn’t matter. Eventually it is only three-dimensional comprehending that some have this god and some have another and the question isn’t who has the right god—it is this: When I was a child I learned that we are made in God’s image. We have interpreted that as if we appear like God, but as we become more and more conscious, we may be ready to start looking into the fact that it might mean that we are creators ourselves!
 
Again, we have completely free will! It is like an experiment, isn’t it? What would happen in a creation process if humans, as creators, could possess a complete set of spiritual, quantum knowledge in a three-dimensional world? Where humans themselves had to ponder it out, guided by Universal information, if we wanted to! Where we are so powerful that we not only create our own personal circumstances, we create the whole world, with our thoughts and our consciousness!
 
This is my reality. This is what Guy and I am conscious of, and this is what we get. And many, many people around the world are becoming more and more conscious of this.
 
Are you able to realise who you are? Am I able to realise who I am?
 
We don’t know everything! But many of us feel an urge to follow this inner drive; we choose to go partly blindfolded into the future because we ‘know’ it is the right thing to do! We want to evolve, we want to have a better life, and above all, we see that previous choices haven’t got us there!
 
So even if we don’t know where this is leading, we know it is right! Because what we are, you and I, Guy, as well as every single human being on Earth, is an eternal creative energy experiencing ourselves through conscious creation!
 
And by this I know that I Am!
 
This brings me to our next conversation, a natural follow-up from this one: Can you Love Yourself as Who You Are?
 
(Painting by Radu Rodideal)
 
 

 

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